Reader Question:
we met this guy two to three weeks before therefore we instantly hit it off. He’s 20 and I am 18.
We arranged we might stay as friends with benefits because i’ll be leaving in 2 several months for some time. For reasons uknown, he helps to keep revisiting the concept of merely getting pals, claiming the guy loves me personally however it can make him put a wall up.
I informed him it could be good when we only ceased speaking so he wouldn’t get further feelings because he doesn’t want currently, but the guy keeps claiming he does not want to quit chatting.
How come he send me personally mixed indicators? How can I figure out what he would like?
-Brianna (Wisconsin)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Brianna,
When you explain your connection as pals with benefits, i suppose you mean sexual advantages. And because you’re one leaving community, I have an awareness you’re one who structured the relationship this way.
He, in contrast, didn’t have most of a selection. You will be leaving, even in the event he desired a lot more. In fact, I think your own citation outside of the union was actually the very thing that lured you both.
It really is ways to test a relationship knowing that either one of you have a leave doorway at the two-month mark.
With contemporary connections being very sensitive yet so pressured for sex, men and women often turn to dip their unique toe-in as a way to stay away from an agonizing break up.
However the main point here is gender produces feelings. He is sending you mixed signals because the guy loves you! He’s indeed suggesting the „friends with advantages“ charade is the wall structure he is adding.
My personal advice: never wreak havoc on he’s center if you do not desire an actual connection. Should you choose, take it up-and be clear about your requirements.
The elephant in living room area looks too big for either people to disregard.
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